the littlest notebook

Here come the terrible twos

I think Ian has officially entered his terrible twos. His favorite word now is “NO (!!!),” and you can see that spark of mischief in his eyes when he pretends he hasn’t heard you. A couple of nights ago, we spent an hour trying to get him to clear up his toys before dinner. We reasoned with him, threatened him, spanked him on his butt, but he just wouldn’t obey. That ordeal finally ended when I got angry. Now I seldom get angry, but boy, was I angry that night–I could feel the blood rushing to my ears! I said to him, If you won’t keep your toys, fine, I’ll keep them. He dissolved into tears at my furious face, and kept repeating, Don’t want Mama angry. When I reassured him that I would not stay angry for long if he kept his toys, he proceeded to put them away, big, fat tears rolling down his round little face. Once the place was cleaned up, we hugged and prayed and he amiably went to the table for his (very cold) dinner.

Later that night, he said to me, Mama not angry anymore. Mama smiling. As much as it was heartwrenching to see my son rebel against me, it was heartwarming to know he valued our relationship.

We’re still navigating our way around disciplining Ian. Although the Bible does warn against sparing the rod, we don’t really spank Ian. He’s got quite a high threshold to pain, and the few times we spanked him didn’t seem to leave any lasting impact. We do have a “naughty bottle” in which we keep his toys as a form of punishment; his bouts of mischief usually come when we ask him to keep his toys, so whatever he doesn’t keep goes into the bottle, and stays there until he shows us he can obey us. We reason with him a lot, and most times, it works. We give him two choices: to obey and be hugged, or to disobey and be punished (after we’ve made him do what we want him to do). Sometimes, I tell him the consequences his action will have on the people around him, and that seems to help as well. When we do have to punish him, we try to show him after that what it was we wanted him to do–sometimes by walking through the act together–and pray for our hearts.

Much of parenting is worked out on a day-to-day basis, and we’re still learning, praying, and seeking advice on how to be godly carers of our child(ren). If there’s anything I want Ian to learn with the practice of discipline, it is to know that obedience to God leads to the path of joy and life. That, I guess, only God can do.

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